Creating a haven for the hurting

Grief is a unique battle. It affects people in different ways and at different times. For some, it is readily apparent, and for others it is a quiet struggle. Although the pain eases in time, the grief is something many people carry for life, especially families who have lost children. 
Custer residents Wayne and Cindy Anderson know this firsthand. Their youngest son Jacob, or Jake, was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease in 2004. After complications of chemotherapy, he passed on into Heaven in 2005 at the age of 23. That was 20 years ago. 
Before getting sick, Jake went on mission trips with their church back in Minnesota. One of his favorite trips was to Robin’s Nest Children’s Home in Jamaica, where he fell in love with the children and was touched by their needs. Along the way, Jake’s parents learned of his love for children and how much he had wanted his own one day. 
After Jake passed away, the Anderson family was devastated and didn’t know how to go on. However, financial gifts kept arriving, and they had to decide what to do with them. 
“We found all these pictures of him at Robin’s Nest, and I’ve still got a few of those. That’s when we thought, ‘Oh, we’ll just donate the money there.’ So we did that, and then it just slowly evolved. My other son, Josh, decided that we should do a benefit every year. It kind of helped with our grieving process to do a benefit,” said Cindy. 
For seven years, they continued hosting a benefit in memory of Jake until what would have been his 30th birthday. By then, the Anderson family had raised $75,000. The money was used to build Jake’s House at Robin’s Nest Children’s Home, which serves as a dormitory for young boys. 
Before, when boys reached a certain age, they had to leave the orphanage because they could not reside with the girls any longer. Many would end up going back to the streets. Now, Jake’s House provides a place where about 25 boys can grow up in a Christian home, and many of the boys have been adopted since. 
The Andersons continue to visit Robin’s Nest and stay involved with the ministry today. 
Fast forward to 2023, and Cindy said, “I was sitting on the patio, and I was kind of sad that we couldn’t go to Jamaica as often. I felt like it was sad that we weren’t visiting a lot. And that’s when I feel God spoke to me and said, ‘Jake’s House 2.’ And even when I say that today, I just get goose bumps from head to toe.” 
In the past, Wayne and Cindy had talked about building another cabin on their property, so the idea of Jake’s House 2 was intriguing. Cindy talked to Wayne and her other two children about the idea, and at first there was some uncertainty about the functionality, timing, cost and season of life. 
“But then I had a friend that said to me, ‘If God called you to this, you need to act on it,’” said Cindy. “I knew that, but I wasn’t yet.” 
In 2024, Cindy decided to call the person who built their home and mention the idea in passing, knowing he was always booked. He called back the next day and offered to do the project without hesitation. The rest of the details quickly came together. 
“The flags were just flying green all the way,” said Cindy. 
Thus, Jake’s House 2 is currently transforming from a vision to a reality. 
The cabin is nestled in a valley west of Custer with hills rising in the distance and a creek trickling through. The Andersons’ hope is to offer grieving parents and siblings a haven where they can discover solace, comfort and healing for their pain in the Black Hills. 
“I know it’s not going to fix anything, but my hope would be that more parents would feel hope and healing while they’re there. I’m really passionate about that because I know what a struggle it was for us to live through. Even after 20 years, it’s softer for us, but you don’t ever get over losing your child,” said Cindy. 
Wayne said, “It didn’t hit me ‘til three years after he passed. I mean, where it literally just slapped me in the face.”
Nevertheless, the Andersons believe that there is hope in grief, and Wayne said it was his faith in God that has carried him through the last 20 years. 
Cindy said they want Jake’s House 2 to be a personal experience for guests where they can discover a sense of peace from the moment they drive up to the cabin. 
“We want it to be as laid back as it can be. Even though they’re leaving their place where they lost their child, they’re coming to a different place. And through that whole experience to come here, that’s what’s in their mind, is we’re going there because we lost somebody,” said Wayne. 
Although they will not be offering any programs, the Andersons plan to stock the cabin with resources and books on grief. Wayne is also partnering with local pastors to create a list of names and numbers so when grief hits, guests have a list of people to call. 
“If somebody needed to have somebody come out and just be with them for a little bit, to pray with them if they needed help,” said Wayne. 
Meanwhile, Wayne and Cindy will be just up the hill if guests need a friend to listen and share their grief. Having lost a child themselves, they are well acquainted with the struggles that come along with it. 
One struggle for Cindy was answering questions about how many children she has. Of course, she would never forget or not include any of her children, but Cindy said it can be awkward to explain she has two living children and one in heaven. 
“Most people don’t handle it well. They don’t know how to respond. They feel bad. It’s not that they’re being mean. I don’t think people today look at death like you should look at it, because it’s a reality, especially a child,” said Wayne. 
Another thing the Andersons learned during their journey of grief is that 85 percent of marriages do not survive losing a child.
“That’s really high. After losing a child, you certainly don’t want to lose your relationship with your spouse. So we thought maybe we could offer something to parents that are grieving and new at this,” said Cindy. “It’s not something to get over, but something to learn to deal with and have a little hope too.”
At the end of the day, the Andersons hope that Jake’s House 2 provides parents and families a place to connect with God after suffering a loss, rather than walking away.
“I would not be where I am today if God didn’t carry me through. Even to this day, I get this spiritual feeling that it’s fine, because this is His world, not my world,” said Wayne. 
The foundation of Jake’s House 2 was dedicated July 4 with an old-fashioned Independence Day celebration and a commemoration of Jake’s 20th anniversary in heaven. Around 50 people attended, and out of the group, seven couples had lost children. 
“It was crazy to have that many,” said Cindy. “There’s just such a need right here.” Wayne agreed. 
Jake’s House 2 should be completed by the end of autumn and ready to accept guests by the spring. Already, people have been reaching out through social media, asking about coming out or hosting mini retreats there. 
The cabin will have two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a laundry room, a living area with a fireplace, a full kitchen and a front porch. With bunk beds and a pull-out couch, the cabin should sleep seven to eight people. 
There is also a rock garden overlooking the property with a large eagle statue. There, guests can write the name of the child they lost on a stone and lay it beside the others already gathering beneath the eagle, which was a symbol of hope and courage for Jake in his final days. 
Cindy explained that losing a child creates a heavy weight in the hearts of parents and siblings, but because God carries our burdens, guests can lay down some of that weight in the garden. 
“It’s kind of a healing thing for people if they choose to do it,” said Wayne. 
At the moment, the Andersons do not have anything set in place for bookings or fees, but they are talking to other rental home owners in the area to get advice. The cabin will be a short-term rental, and the Andersons may open it up as an Airbnb on off weeks to help pay off the mortgage so the cabin can eventually be used for full-time ministry. 
“I want to keep it small, hometown. I don’t want it to be a big commercial thing. I want to keep it under control myself with the family,” said Cindy. 
“We’re going to learn as we do. It’s a big trust in God thing for us,” said Wayne. 
The Andersons would love to see the community get involved in the ministry as well. This could look like offering gift baskets or fresh baked goods to set on the table for guests, gifting free passes or coupons to local attractions or even providing financial scholarships for families tight on funds. Churches in the community could also sponsor families. 
Once everything is ready, they hope to host a ribbon cutting and invite the community to tour the cabin. 
“I can get a little teary-eyed when I talk about it, but we’re just so grateful for the life that we’ve had since Jake, and what his life has brought to so many others without him really knowing it, just the legacy,” said Cindy.